I first of all want to thank everyone who continue to visit my website, although I have not been as faithful with the updates. I just wanted to let you all in on what has been going on in my life lately (I at least owe that to you). Most of you already know that I had a baby a little over a year ago. She's now 15 months-old and is a busy, fussy, tantruming yet still very sweet toddler. As if she was not enough to keep me busy, I decided to pull my 7 year-old son out of public school, 7 weeks ago, and I am now homeschooling him. I also baby-sit a couple of children on the weekends to help a friend out and to help with the expense of purchasing homeschooling materials.

As a result of all of this, I have not been as consistent with hair care. I barely have time to just pull it back into a puff, so washing it and detangling it regularly has been pretty much out of the question. So, website updates have been obviously non-existent. Please be patient with me as I try to get back into the routine of web updates. Thanks a bunch and I wish you all a terrific New Year!!

July 26th marked my 3 year nappiversary!! So how do I feel? I'd have to say that the time went by quickly. I went from less than an inch of hair to a massive bush of hair in what feels like lightning speed (exaggerating of course). I've been through good times and bad times with my hair. I've had my share of bad hair days and doubts, but overall the journey has been incredible. Now that I am three years along, I do not feel as conscious of my hair. I don't think about the fact that I am natural, it is just a part of me. It almost feels as if I was always natural. I go back and read over my old posts and Val & Nadine comic strips from time to time just to remind myself of what the early part of my journey was like.

I hope that my hair journey has been inspiring to all of you who have been faithfully checking the site looking for updates (sorry for the lack of updates lately). I find that the longer my hair gets, the less experimental I get, so the updates don't come quite as often. That does not mean that I am not interested in your individual hair journeys and questions. I am always availble for questions and I will continue to showcase new naturals on my website. In fact, if you have been natural for less than a year, please visit the New Naturals Showcase page here.

Well that's it for now. Take care!

One of the toughest things, that some of us who decide to go natural, has to deal with is rude comments from those who oppose natural hair. It’s one thing when this opposition comes from outsiders, but how do you deal with it when it comes from family members?

This is just my opinion, but I think that we should all stand up for ourselves no matter who the rude comments are coming from. We cannot give ANYONE permission to be rude and hurt our feelings. When a person hears the same thing over and over again, they cannot help but begin to believe it. If a family member keeps saying that you are unattractive with natural hair, it is a matter of time before this begins to break down your confidence. Confidence is fragile and should be protected at all costs.

What exactly am I saying here? I am saying that no matter who is belittling you about your hair, let that person know that they DO NOT have your permission to hurt you. Now if what the person is saying does not bother you, then ignore it. If it does bother you, decide right now, today that you will not stand for it anymore. I am not saying that you should be rude in return. I am just saying that it might be a good idea to find a polite and respectful way to tell that person that you have made a decision to no longer straighten your hair and that you do not want to hear anything negative about it. If they cannot say anything nice, they should keep it to themselves. I realize that this is easier said than done, but rebuilding confidence that has been broken down by negativity is even harder. Just a little food for thought!

I have been getting a lot of email inquiries lately regarding how to do and maintain two-strand twists. Here is a breakdown of my two-strand twist technique:

I always do two-strand twists on wet hair. If my hair begins to dry, I keep it wet with a spray bottle.

On short hair, two strand twists can be done by just grabbing and twisting (this also applies to thin hair). Since my hair has been getting longer, I part my hair while twisting.

The key to long lasting twists for me has been ORS Twist and Loc Gel. I apply this to each section of hair (especially the ends), right before twisting the section.

To see my twisting technique, please see my twist and clip video (look for an updated video of my twisting technique soon!)

To maintain twists, I lightly spritz (don’t get them too wet) my twists each night before tying them up with a satin scarf.

If I’ve worn my twists for over two weeks, I gently wash them using conditioner.

I wear my twists up to three weeks. If your twists do not last as long, keep in mind that I have a kinky hair texture, so I don't get the fuzz like some people get with the looser, curlier hair textures (my little sisters have the fuzzy problem). If you are getting fuzz, you probably will only be able to wear your twists for a few days, but don’t get frustrated. You just get to sport a twist-out sooner!

I hope this breakdown helps!

In a few short weeks, I will be the mother of a little girl. I feel honored to have the opportunity to raise a future mother, wife, sister, friend, business woman, etc. But I often think about what I want to teacher her as she grows.

The most important things that I want her to take away from our household as she grows into a woman, is a high self-confidence and self-esteem. Whether she comes out with a brown , dark or light complexion. Or if her hair comes out curly, kinky or wavy. Even if she inherits the family’s thin or chubby genes, I want her to love herself just the way she is.

When she walks out into the world, even as a little girl, I want her to have a defense against whatever society’s current standard of beauty is. I don’t want her to care if the current videos on BET feature light-skinned or dark-skinned models, or if all of the current female singers and performers have straight hair past their behinds. My prayer is that she walks around as if she has set the new standard of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her to have a cocky attitude, just a deep love of God and all the gifts and beauty that he has given her.

You may ask, why am I sharing this right now? Well ladies, we all know that all of us were not raised to love ourselves for who we are, no matter what we are. Of course, some of us were, but I want to address those who were not right now. I just want you to know, that even if you were not given the tools of a high self-esteem and self-confidence when growing up, it is never too late to find or develop these tools for yourself. And more important than that, if you are a mother, aunt or grandmother to a young child or even a teenager, you have the opportunity to instill this things into that child or teen. Our children need these gifts more than ever, especially our little girls. Please ladies, take the time to give it to them (and yourself). Take care and God Bless!

I decide to visit a beauty salon for the first time in two years. I can’t even remember what made me decide to do it. I don’t really give the cosmetologist much instruction on what I want done to my hair, I just sit in the chair and trust her instincts. As I’m sitting there, she brushes my hair out and begins to part it. Soon I smell a familiar smell that I have not smelled in over two years. This pungent smell fills the room as the stylist smooths a cool cream all over my head. Could it be a new type of hair gel?. Before long, I am sitting in a chair wondering why my head is burning like crazy. I try to think back on the last time I felt this burning sensation all over my head, but my mind goes blank.

The stylist washes my hair and styles it. At this point I reach up to feel what she has done. To my astonishment, I do not feel any naps. I run to the nearest mirror and see that my hair is bone straight hanging well past my shoulders. I burst into tears. “What the heck have you done!” I yell at the stylist.

“What do you mean? Isn’t that what you wanted?” She replies in an irritating nonchalant manner.

“I never told you to relax my hair!” I am devastated. “How can I go around and promote natural hair, when mine is straight?”

All the other ladies in the shop are confused at my anger and tears, because in their eyes my thick past the shoulder straight locks are beautiful. I stare in the mirror at two years of natural hair gone in one instant. Fresh tears fill my eyes as I try to calculate how long I’d have to wait to have this straight mess chopped out of my hair once again.

Don’t worry ladies, I have not reverted back to a relaxer. I just wanted to take a moment and share a dream, or should I say nightmare, that I had last night. Believe me when I say, I have never been more relieved to wake up from a dream in my life. I could not help but smile when I woke up and felt my beloved naps.

After two years of being natural, this is the first time that I’ve had the famous “relaxed hair” dream. Although the dream was pretty scary to me at the time, I now welcome it because it helped me affirm how much I love my natural hair. Would I ever go back to a relaxer? Based on the emotions that I felt during that dream, I can answer with happy confidence - Never!

Here's an article from my July 2, 2007 newsletter:

Lately, I’ve gotten a few email messages from natural sisters who are feeling a little discouraged due to lack of support or ignorant comments regarding their natural hair. I have been natural for almost two years now. Overall, I’ve gotten great support from family and friends. However, I live in Memphis, TN and the natural hair scene here is growing, but very slowly. In other words, there are not very many sistas here wearing their natural hair texture. When I leave my house, I still get the “how can she wear her hair out like that” looks from people every now and then.

I wanted to take a few minutes to offer a bit of inspiration for those who are not getting any support and/or are bothered by the looks that they are getting from people. Ladies, please realize that there is nothing more beautiful than the confidence that it takes to finally tell yourself, I’m letting go of the relaxers! I know that at times you may only feel confident as you look in your mirrors in the morning. I realize that sometimes that confidence slips right away as soon as you walk out of your door. I encourage you to look inside of yourselves and radiate that confidence wherever you go. I’m begging you to challenge yourself, not that you haven’t already, to make the love for your natural hair shine so brightly that people find it hard to be negative about your hair. Once you allow that love to shine, the negativity that you receive from others will bounce right off. I promise you that it will! People will begin to look at you in a different way. Even if they do not like natural hair, they will see you walking and say to themselves, “I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about the sista”.

Ladies, it’s easier said than done sometimes, but next time you are feeling bad about your hair, lift your head up and strut like you’re the Next Top Model and I guarantee people will begin to look at you differently!